RADIO: That’s enough, Africa!
You thought getting “Rick Rolled” was bad – now we’re getting Toto-ed to death.
Radio listeners who came of age in the ‘80s tremble in fear over which old hit will be next to reawaken their dormant malignant brain worms after decades of remission. Wang Chung? Huey Lewis and the News? Mr. Mister?
It hurts to hear an inferior version of Africa on the radio that isn’t by Toto – and it hurts to hear it from Toto.
The band named for Dorothy’s dog were heavy cats so musically talented and self-indulgent that they rated honorable mention in The 50 Worst Rock ‘n’ Roll Albums of All Time, the rock critic’s bible written when rock critics were allowed to be honest. They didn’t like Toto, or anything that reeked of “prog.”
The band’s original version of Africa is a masterpiece of wankery, five minutes of pure dumb fun so radio-friendly it humps your ear, a joke that never gets old, apparently like the song. They don’t build pop tunes like this anymore. A few months after the song hit No. 1 in 1983, it went away, into hibernation, waiting, hiding from the punks, biding its time for a new generation to come of age – and to infect them.
The version that Sonic 102.9 FM and many other radio stations are playing now comes courtesy of Weezer. It sounds like a good cover band. You might even mistake it for the original, but then you hear something terribly, terribly wrong: a lame synth solo to stand for Steve Porcaro’s tasty original – which was, frankly, the best part of the song in the first place. Even the 2007 hip hop version by Karl Wolf is better. That still gets airplay, too.
The real Toto, meanwhile, is doing a world tour to celebrate its 40th anniversary. European dates have already sold out.
Sure, a lot of mouldy old hits we haven’t heard in 25 years (for good reason) are being aired on hundreds of classic radio stations, maintaining the careers of the aging rock stars across the realm – but this Africa phenomenon is off the scale. There’s even a viral Africa meme floating around. Has anybody listened to the lyrics? Like who are they to “bless the rains down in Africa”? And where specifically “down” in Africa are they talking about? It is a silly song.
The weird thing isn’t how many 25-year-old hits are enjoying this latter-day sainthood – but how few. It’s as if the ‘80s only produced four memorable songs that old people grew to hate and the younger generations have blithely revived to torture their elders. We’ve been hearing Take Me On by Aha quite a lot lately; the boy band A1 had its only hit with a cover of the song in 2000. You have to consider the “Rick Rolling” fad wherein Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley has enjoyed startling new success, complete with the star himself, in on the joke, and basking in the mainstream limelight again after a long absence. Astley has a new album and is also touring Europe this year. The careers of Canadians Tom Cochrane and Bryan Adams were boosted by younger artists’ covers of Life is a Highway and Heaven, respectively. Also Heart. And there are at least two versions too many of Big Yellow Taxi.
Beware the Irony Event Horizon: The longer one enjoys a piece of pop culture ironically, the less ironic it becomes. Not even comedy can escape the black hole of saturation once the joke in question becomes real – and before we know it Weezer scores a No. 1 hit with a cover of Jack & Diane. I know, I know: Don’t give them ideas.
Sonic radio announcer Layne Mitchell has made no secret of his love for Africa, the song.
“It’s one of the biggest songs on the radio,” he says. “Interestingly, it sounds virtually identical to the original. We loved Toto, we got sick of Toto. We hated Toto. Now we’ve come full circle.”
But why these particular tunes?
“Because ‘Xennials grew up hating them, but now our musical journey has circled back to a place where they made sense. I could definitely get away with playing Maneater by Hall & Oates over Korn.”
Good God, no.
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