REVIEW: Walterdale’s Altar Boyz Pokes Fun at Boy Bands, Christianity
Was a gaping hole left in your soul when the Backstreet Boys went Main Street?
Has the demise of N’Sync left you syncless?
Well, don’t give up, boy band aficionados – hope is on its way.
Apparently the unheralded Christian pop band Altar Boyz has been working its way across the North American bingo hall and youth group circuit with its “Raise the Praise” tour. Their final concert takes place in Edmonton’s own Walterdale Theatre – where the Boyz will proclaim the Word through Dec. 14th.
These young believers bring all the familiar moves to their rockin’ pop show, complete with choral and vocal changes, funky riffs and of course Christian messages with songs like Everybody Fits, We Know That God Knows Where It’s At, and Jesus Called Me On My Cellphone.
Heaven knows it all sounds like that overzealous, relentlessly upbeat, praise-God musical proselytizing you hear on Christian radio stations – but I suspect there are those fallen-away wretches who will call this a sly, tongue-in-cheek parody.
Altar Boyz fits the bill. Rather than being chosen by algorithm for their wide demographic and sexualized appeal to teen girls, they are a motley group. Take note of the names: Matthew (Darian Ames), Mark (Renell Doneza), Luke (Anthony Hurst) and Juan (Lidinei Harnum). Matthew is the imposing leader of the group with a voice as big as his frame. Mark is the sensitive one but his obvious rapt devotion aimed at Matthew does invite … um, speculation. Luke is the hip-hoppin’, fist-pumpin’, jock homeboy, and a bit testy. Juan is the token Latino who shakes up the joint with his Ricky Martin inspired, La Vida Eternal number. The actor has a good voice and a comic’s timing. And then there’s Abraham (David Anderson), a Jewish kid complete with yarmulke with an embroidered Star of David in the centre, who writes the songs. He’s fast with a quip. When one of the kids asks, “Are Jews allowed in this church?” Abraham’s quiet reply is, “I think so. I saw one hanging from a cross on the way in.”
The five relentlessly power through their MTV-approved Top-40 set. The show is all original – words and music from Gary Adler and Michael Patrick Walker, and book by Kevin Del Agula; his minimal story is light and fun. It’s composed mostly of innuendo, droll patter and comment on the boys’ ersatz backgrounds.
The evening is staged as a concert (design by Charlie Lynn) – much as the Citadel Theatre’s Six was a few weeks back. The five are on stage – and we are the chosen audience. The opening night congregation in Walterdale gave them a warm welcome. In case we miss the message, we’re told the Sony corporation provided them with a “Sound Sensor DX-12 Projection Display” that counts down the number of souls reclaimed during the concert. It goes up and down as the evening progresses.
You will probably enjoy yourself so much that you won’t notice it’s all pretty fluffy. Director Gregory Caswell cheerfully collaborates in this with his brisk pace: It’s over before you’re even aware of any lack of substance.
Occasional intonation problems and a general lack of vocal power weren’t enough to ruin the evening. The Altar Boyz sing the cheerful score with exuberance, often breaking into solos such as I Am a Catholic. Ames’ paean to iron Catholic self-control in the romantic-sexual song You Make Me Wanna Wait was crooned to one lovely audience member. She was then dubbed “Chastity” and from time to time acknowledged by the players for the rest of the night.
Doneza has a nice, light high tenor and delivered one killer solo.
The boys give Bethany Hughes’ hilarious jumped-up and suitably cheesy MTV inspired choreography a good shot as well.
It’s hard to imagine that any good Christian (or otherwise inclined audience member) would be offended by this breezy, energetic crowd-pleaser. Gimme an AMEN!
Photos by Henderson Images
