HOCKEY: In the Box with Brent & Craig
Leafing Montreal
The Oilers sit and sit and sit as the real world cancels three games against the Canadiens last week. Upon their return they pick up 3 points against the Leaves, who also somehow picked up 3 points. (Boy loser points are dumb)
Let’s unpack this week in a locked down Oil country!
Brent Oliver
March 22-26
Cancelled games against Montreal
Listen, I wanted to watch hockey as much as the next guy or gal or them as much as the next person, but the last 12 months has lowered my expectations on everything in life. The Oilers were actually warming up for the game last Monday when the NHL got a couple cases within the Habs team that cancelled that night’s game immediately. The next two were cancelled pretty swiftly and the Oil headed off to Toronto where they couldn’t possibly get Covid.
On a strictly hockey side, this couldn’t have come at a worse time since the Oilers were rolling and poised to take top spot in the standings.
On the health side of things, come on people – safety first. These games had to be cancelled and I appreciate the teams and the NHL putting player and staff safety first.
Nearly 2/3rds of the way through this shortened season and we should have expected more covid based cancellations, so we’ll take these three in stride. Make up games are tonight, May 10-11.
Onwards.
Craig Douglas
March 27
Maple Leafs 4 Oilers 3 (OT)
After an unexpected and unwelcome break in the schedule while the virus flirted with their opponents, the Oil managed to get back into action on the weekend, playing what might be the most important games thus far in this (weird) season versus the Maple Leafs. There wasn’t ever any doubt that the team would recognize the urgency of these games pertaining to the schedule and the standings, but after a week away from competition we still had to wonder if they’d be ready. When they only managed four shots in the first period that wonder turned towards worry. Was this team going to roll over and watch Toronto pull away in the game and the North Division standings?
The second period was beginning to look like more of the same, as the Oil flailed, still looking out of sorts and rusty from the layoff. When the first goal finally bounced its way into the net, high in the air and off of Smith’s head, the words uh-oh echoed around in the heads of the faithful fans. A Darnell Nurse goal drew things even shortly after, and then came the skills. The tie game twisted itself into a passing clinic, as the Oil took the lead when McDavid fed one of the nicer passes you’ll see all season over to his buddy Drai, whose 19th goal of the year had the scoreboard showing 2-1 Oil. Another killer pass, this time by Draisaitl from behind the net and back to Barrie, had the puck in the net, and the second period closed out 3-1 for Edmonton.
The third period brought more amazing passing, and more pucks in the net, but this time the passes came not from McD and Drai, but rather from Alex Galchenyuk of all people. Galchenyuk, the perpetual reclamation project, showed he may have finally found a team he can stick with for more than a few weeks, as he started passing the puck in all kinds of creative manner and suddenly there were very few minutes remaining and it was all tied up again and headed for extras.
A quick bounce off of a skate in OT and it was all over. On the one hand the team could have snagged two points if they had just kept pushing when the score and the momentum and everything else were going their way for a short while. More importantly though, they played a sloppy game, giving the puck away often, while being badly outshot, laughed off of the face off circle and just generally not playing a great game, some of that can be chalked up to the unfortunately timed layoff, but much of it needs to be reckoned with quickly if they want to call themselves a contending team.
Brent Oliver
March 29
Oilers 3 Maple Leafs 2 (OT)
While beating the tar out of Ottawa is fun, and beating Vancouver and Calgary is the best – there’s nothing really more satisfying than beating the Centre of the Universe Maple Leafs.
Archibald started the scoring with a gorgeous solo backhanded effort under Michael “don’t call be Hutchence” Hutchinson serving as Toronto’s third string tender. A quick tie up by the assholes then a go ahead goal by Pervy McMatthews and the Oil saw themselves down a goal against a very good team who beat them two night’s previous. Cue the comeback.
Turris scored in the 3rd – a nice change of pace as normally its the other way around for the Oilers – and tied things up going into OT. After quite possibly the best Mike Smith save of the season, Drai daintily moved the puck to Connor who broke the grabbing and clutching of some asshole to feed Nurse to win the game.
Like a handjob on a Monday morning, this felt great. Fuck Toronto. I’m calling it now – the Oilers will overtake them for 1st place by the next column.
Craig Douglas
The Connor McDavid Player Of The Week Award Brought To You By Humpty’s
With not a lot to base the award on this time around, I thought about skipping it or just giving it to McDavid like I (almost) always do, but it also seems like a good opportunity to allow Dr. Drai to get his hands on it. He hasn’t been given the honor yet
(I’m pretty sure, and I’m definitely not looking it up) and he put together a tidy four points against the Maple Leafs, so fuck it, I humbly bestow this award on “Neon” Leon Draisaitl.
Predicsh Brought To You By Huge Ford Trucks
03/30 at Montreal – The Oilers are able to hang on and beat Montreal tonight because Montreal is not very good.
Final score: Oilers 3 Habs 2
04/02 vs Calgary – The travel and schedule cause the Oil to drop a game, despite the fact that Calgary is shit.
Final score: Bastards 3 Oilers 2 (SO)
04/03 vs Vancouver – The Oilers trounce the Canucks because they are angry about losing to a shit team the previous evening.
Final score: Oilers 6 Canucks 1
04/05 at Montreal – Travel is never an excuse, but it is sometimes a reason. Fortunately both some games against Ottawa and some days off lie just around the corner.
Final score: Montreal 4 Oilers 3
Another game? Yup. Montreal seems to be all better from their boo boos now and are playing tonight in Quebec as the Oilers return. Can they stay healthy against all those athletes breathing all over each other? Can they win despite not wanting any Covid cooties?
Are we all tired of this fucking pandemic yet?
See you next time – In the Box.
